Warren Roland Warren, father of two sons and board member of the National Fatherhood Initiativeexplains the simple but critical support any dad can give his child. I am often asked what sons need from their fathers. My answer really boils down to a few simple but critical things that every good dad must do, built on a framework of providing, nurturing and guiding.
Michael Gurian Reviewed by: As the author writes: As much as this is a journey-book about mothers and sons, it is equally about sons and lovers. A Guided Journey of Initiation. The second part of the book is designed as a workbook, providing readers with exercises in meditation, journaling, and assignments to challenge and evolve relationships with mothers and to prescribe mindful doses of self-reflection and development.
Gurian is specific in addressing the target audience for this text, suggesting that the book is written more for sons than for daughters and that, while the book can be read in solitude, it may be more suitable to use with the company of other men, a support group, or a therapist. The book also suggests that gay men will gain as much benefit as straight men and encourages gay men to reconstruct the detailing of intimate opposite-sex relationships as intimate same-sex relationships.
Compared to many books exploring the mother-son relationship and its lifelong impact, The Invisible Presence is careful not to blame mothers for problems men have in their masculine identities and intimate relationship developments. Rather, the book provides a model of mother-son relationship evolution that will best nurture sons.
Summarized, this model includes attachment forming, in which various relationship styles influence the Hero boy in his early physical and emotional development; individuation, which occurs when the adolescent Hero yearns for separation and independence; initiation, through which the Hero gains the rights and privileges of manhood and is thus able to create the roles of lover and warrior; and relationship re-forming, through which the mother and son are able to form an adult, meaningful relationship of two independent individuals.
The text focuses on the idea of masculinity and femininity, ascribing the definitions of each to the roles the genders carry in intimate relationships. Masculinity is inherited from fathers or mentoring adult men and is used to combat the smothering characteristics of femininity that mothers or mentoring adult women project onto their sons.
Thus, in the struggle for independence and manhood, sons, or Heroes, must confront the femininity inherited from mothers with their innate and acquired masculinities, and ultimately learn a new balance of femininity incorporated from lovers. The role of mother, the book suggests, is to prevent the boy from turning into a man and the role of father is to help the boy challenge his mother and become a man.
To endorse the ideas presented, Gurian draws from modern figures in psychoanalysis and attachment theories, as well as examples pulled from mythology, religion, modern anthropological studies, and art. In fact, much of the second part of the text is written as if the reader were an active character in Greek mythology.
At its core, it seems that the goal of this book is to help men better understand the balance of masculinity and femininity and purposefully redefine their identities as men. Overall, the text accomplishes this goal, and uses the mother-son relationship to achieve this.
It is suggested that readers of the text are able to redefine themselves and their relationships by studying the dynamics they had with their mother figures; by adjusting the attachment, whether actually doing it or just conceptualizing the process, the reader is in fact tuning himself.
However, the text focuses extensively on problems within the relationship of mother and son and emphasizes the negative effects of neglectful father figures. Almost ignored are the assessment of strengths and weaknesses of an individual, genetics, innate personalities, and the assets within mother-son relationships.
While scripting meditation, communication, and journaling exercises, these center on the past in order to change the future and often neglect present strengths.
However, it is imperative to reinforce that the text stems from a psychoanalytic juxtaposition. Thus, practices incorporating other theories of psychology and studies of relationships are not strongly presented.
In all, The Invisible Presence insightfully allows the reader to examine and redefine how relationships with mothers impact sons. Experiential activities, an active voice resembling mythological literature, tones of spirituality, and modern case examples combine to provide a compelling and explorative text that urges the readers to redefine their balances of masculinity and femininity.Welcome to the world of a teenage boy.
The first thing parents need to understand is that this is a natural phase boys go through during their development to adulthood. The mix of testosterone flowing through their system and a natural need to separate from their parents creates an interesting, yet volatile, mix.
The Teenage Love Relationship deals with the relationship of love that exists between the teenage groups. In schools the teenagers usually make friends easily and therefore there remains the chance for a young boy/girl to get easily involved in a relationship.
About one-in-five teen daters (21%) report that a current or former boyfriend, girlfriend or partner has read their text messages without permission.
For the bulk of teens, this unwanted reading of text messages happened during a relationship, with 18% of teen daters reporting such an experience.
While Chu’s findings can’t be generalized to all boys given the small sample size of six, her two years of observations and interviews did reveal an important aspect of social-emotional development: boys, like all of us, develop their social and emotional capacities both in relationship and individually and that each boy’s experience is predicated on many factors, such as family, peer and teacher interactions, media .
Michael Gurian’s The Invisible Presence examines the profound influence that the attachment of a mother forever has on her son, especially in regard to intimate relationships. As the author. Relationship abuse in teenagers is not uncommon, and some teens might even view some types of abuse as normal.
WebMD discusses the types of relationship abuse and what you can do .